


Over the Garden Wall

by allfireburns



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Community: writerinadrawer, Epistolary, Gen, Humor, Snark, novel canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-26
Updated: 2009-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-03 18:52:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allfireburns/pseuds/allfireburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain's blog for the novel "Slow Decay": In which weevils mourn, diet pills cause psychosis, and Owen's still not allowed around female prisoners.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Over the Garden Wall

Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3

Alien activity: Several confirmed weevil sightings. Eight? Ten? You tend not to count when you're surrounded. As a side note, weevils mourn. Who knew? Alien parasites being marketed by Scotus Clinic as diet pills - parasites cause the host to lose weight faster than they can put it on, and the host starts eating everything they can find and displaying psychotic behavior like snacking on people's faces or their own body parts. The parasite eats enough, it metamorphoses into a flying, egg-laying knife, and the process starts over. The clinic has been shut down, and all remaining parasites destroyed. Three civilian deaths, standard cleanup procedure.

Alien technology: Emotional amplification device picked up after a fight in a pub. Toshiko's matched it with a series of items in the archives, and there's something about pictures inside the circuitry of the devices.

Rift activity: Within acceptable levels and tolerances.

Security: Gwen removed the emotional amplification device from the Hub - again, without my permission. How many times do we have to have that talk? Granted, she used it as a bargaining chip to get us video from the nightclub, so I'll let that bit go. The fact that she used it on Rhys in hopes of helping their relationship? Less okay. Rhys Williams exposed to aforementioned alien parasites. Gwen's convinced him it was an untested diet pill with side effects including psychosis, gave him the pill to kill the parasite, and all's well for the time being.

Staff: Tosh almost shot me. But she was under influence from the emotional amplification device, and she seemed to feel pretty bad about it afterward, so I won't mention it to her. Doubt she knows I know. Owen is still not to be left alone with female prisoners, even if they will eat him.

Other staff issues: Have decided to make it a Torchwood rule that every conversation should include at least one word no one else knows - barring, of course, medical terms and technobabble. Unfortunately, none of the others are complying, except Owen, who I think is keeping a dictionary in his desk for just such a purpose. It hasn't done him any good, as I know every word he's tried to use so far.

Capt. Jack Harkness.


End file.
